WHITE FLAG! I am waving the white flag. This post is supposed to be humorous in style. While the bigger frame is comedy, what I'm about to write is infused with reality, both objectively and subjectively.
Ladies, before you stone me to death, skin me alive, and use my genitals as shark bait, hear me out. Hopefully, I will get a you're-safe-for-now nod.
Ready? Here we go! *Internal prayers*
Reason 1: They have good genes
They may, they may not. I'm no scientist — actually, I am a scientist (bioengineer). On a serious note, it's a misconception that us, Tunisia men, have adopted simply through looking at brushed photos on social media. We scroll through Facebook pages and Instagram profiles drooling over the bodies and faces of Goddaaaaaaamn —insert Chris Tucker gif here— gorgeous foreign women, believing that the whole basket's batch is identical.
WRONG! Most, if not all, of those pictures are modified with filters and photo editing software. Photo angles and lighting also play a major role in making those pictures look more attractive. Oh, and let's not forget the power of make up. Have you seen pictures of female celebrities without makeup? *nervous laugh*
I am not dismissing the theory that some have hot mama genes, except that they exist worldwide and not a property of European or American heritage. Also, bear in mind that Tunisia is a small pond with a small women sample (I swear, I'm not objectifying). To put it into perspective, the US population was 329.5 million in 2020, 50.5% of which are females. That's over 150 millions women. The whole Tunisian population is less than 14 million.
Reason 2: They are considered as novelty
This one makes sense. What's the difference between Tunisian chocolate and American chocolate? Probably one or a few key ingredients but they probably taste the same — sometimes Tunisian chocolate tastes even better. Yet, Tunisian men glorify foreign chocolate. Why? Because it's new.
Newness is exciting, mysterious, and fun (most of the time, until it bites us in the buttbutt).
PS: Tunisian women are also accused of this one.
Reason 3: They take care of their skin properly
Kind of?
First of all, I believe it's more embedded in their culture, it ranges within their financial capabilities, and it's a damn priority for them (Face it. It's true).
It's not that Tunisian women don't do the same, some of them do if not most. The difference lies within the quality of the products. There's a huge gap between the financial capabilities.
Here's an example: a Bath and Body Works 8 oz (30 ml) lotion could cost 12.5$ at Walmart. That is around the cost of an hour of work for U.S women while it is mostly a whole-day pay for Tunisian women.
That's one of the reasons why our ladies turn to cheaper, lower quality products that have the potential to do more damage than good.
Reason 4: They use quality make up products
Note that I didn't say they know how to use make up. Have you seen the marriage photos of a typical Tunisian bride? Let me draw you a virtual image: it looks like a character from a Tim Burton's movie. We ridicule it by calling it a paint job.
In all fairness, I can't blame them — much. The same argument for the reason above — the price of skin products — applies in this case as well.
You'd wonder why I didn't group them together. Let me say it again in case you didn't get the memo: Tim Burton character !!
Due to the country's financial slippery slope, our weak purchasing ability is the main factor behind the products we buy.
Here's another example: a concealer from Sephora could cost from 12$ to 80$. I'm not going to attempt to presume the average Tunisian woman could even afford the average of that interval (34$ = 110DT).
Instead, they opt for lesser quality products that are within the budget. Lesser quality = worse results (and it shows).
Reason 5: They exercise
There has been changes in the last few years where a lot of Tunisian women are turning to exercise to look aesthetically better (shape wise), or it could just be my Instagram feed (don't you dare judge me).
However, what I have noticed is that a lot of them are doing it for the wrong reasons. While the US female population exercises for all the benefits of exercise, our ladies do it mostly to lose weight. In other words, they're more likely to stop working out after reaching their weight loss objective.
Yes, they may get a little toned and look sexier, but it is bound to go away after a few months.
From personal experience and the media, foreign women view and use exercise as a lifestyle more than a tool to reach a certain goal. If you exercise regularly, you look younger, sexier, and healthier, and you feel the same way.
Reason 6: They are sexually open
This one is deeply rooted within the culture more than it is within our religion itself. I guarantee you that the majority of those who use religion as an argument for sexual oppression are hypocrites.
Do I really need to give you a lesson on how important a healthy sex life is for an individual? Heck, have you seen a male teenager? They're like crackheads, sexheads (I claim copyrights over this new word).
Some Christian women still shy away from sex, and I've experienced it first hand in the US. However, it's not as severely frowned up — scratch that — condemned as it is in Tunisia. More often than not, if an unmarried girl is caught without her virginity, she is shunned by her family, and disgraced and outcast by society.
No wonder we can't get some (sigh).
Reason 7: They are smarter
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong... Oh did I mention? WRONG!
Our women are impeccably smart. How do I know that? Because they will call you out on your BS faster than Usain Bolt can break a world record. They're like BS detectors except much more effective than an FBI investigator in an interrogation room. Sometimes, they choose not to call you out to see how neck deep you can get so when they lash out, you know you're KO'd.
Of course this isn't a blow against foreign women. It circles back to the culture. Tunisian women had to adapt and develop mechanisms to survive the undying epidemic that is a lying Tunisian male.
Reason 8: They have to deal with our shit
This is where I raise my hat and take a bow for the amount of patience, forgiveness, and love they provide (some of them can go to hell, truth to be told). Tunisian men are not easy to get along with. Hypocrisy is a staple of our culture, and boy oh boy do some men over-abuse.
To restate what us, Tunisians, already know, and to throw some perspective for those who do not live in the Middle East, the majority of our men are looking for a respectable, religious, un-tainted (face palm), successful, sexy, sexual, saint/servant/sex slave/wife. Notice that I didn't include the word partner, because partner implies equality, mutual respect, and mutual benefit.
At the start of this post, I felt like I need to shield myself from the ladies' reactions. Right now, I'm more concerned about the guys!
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